Get Better or Get Bitter

Hello!! Long-time, no see, right!?! As you can imagine, I've been super busy taking care of my little Luke. He is doing great for all he's been through. We've had almost every setback you can imagine! Let me just tell you a little of what this little warrior has gone through. When Luke was diagnosed with Acute lymphoblastic leukemia T-Cell on January 22, he had 367,000 white blood cells, normal is about 4,000-7,000. He also had a huge mass on his chest, so he wasn't able to get his port like the "normal" protocol. They had to do a PICC line in his leg, it was there for 3 weeks, and when they took that out, his leg got a huge blood clot in it! They started him on 2 shots of blood thinners a day (that I have to give him, UGH!) But, that didn't help his clot, so he had to go under a very risky surgery to remove the clot. They had never done this surgery on a child under 13 at our hospital. With God's provision and blessing, both the mass and clot are barely noticeable now! During the 29 days of high-dose steroids, it weakened his muscles and he couldn't walk or put any weight on his legs for about 3 weeks. He has regained his strength and is now walking and dancing again, praise God! Also, when we stopped the steroids, his body had adrenal failure, so we had to restart him on a lower dose steroid and wean him off for 6-8 weeks. You think that's enough, right?! Well then, when he was in the hospital for a fever, he got C-Diff, which is a stomach infection that causes diarrhea for weeks. It took 20 days of antibiotics, 4 times a day to rid him of that infection. All of that to say, it has been a VERY crazy 11 weeks! I have been thinking of writing this blog post for a couple of weeks now, so I decided to get my husband to watch Luke for a little bit so I write!

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When you are faced with hard times, trials, broken relationships, cancer, sickness, etc., there are only two options, it will either make you get bitter at God or help you have a better relationship with God. Now this is not a one time choice, it is a DAILY choice. You have to wake up and choose to accept that God is in control, and trust everything He has allowed in your life.

For me obviously, choosing to get better has not been the easiest choice to make. It's much easier to blame, question, hate, and, get angry, but none of those things are of God or will help the situation. I was listening to a song the other day, and the lyrics said, "For You are for us, You are not against us." I had to really sing that and cry out to God and trust that He is for our family. He wants the best for us. He loves us. He made a way for us to be in Heaven with Him. He has blessed us.

When I focus on all the blessings God has given us, all of our "problems" fade away, and I can enjoy the present. Anxiety and fear settle in when I start thinking of the next phase of treatment, or the next 3 years of treatment. I get overwhelmed if I think of what will or what can happen in the next couple of weeks or months. I have to literally force my mind to focus on today. Focus on that God is good. Focus on that I have made it through 100% of my hardest days. Focus on that there is hope. Focus on that God can heal Luke.

That's how you get better in hard times. I truly pray none of you reading this ever have to face your child having cancer, but if you do, just know it will be ok. God will carry you through it, just like He is us.

Look at the smile on this baby's face. He is my hero.

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God bless you all. ♥

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  1. So glad Luke is doing so well. Yes to bettering our relationship in hard times, and you all are doing a wonderful job of glorifying God in the midst of the unfathomable!

  2. May your strength and courage,show others your Faith and Trust in God .
    Thank you for your words of encouragement.

  3. Oh my goodness he has gone through so much! I've had a DVT twice in my leg and it is so painful and distressful. I can't imagine watching my child go through that. Your family is in my prayers.

  4. Your little boy is one brave little guy. What your going through would probably the hardest thing any mom has to go through, my prayers are with you and your little boy.

  5. Amen! We love you, Stephen & Luke very much. Praying and trusting!

  6. beautifully said... our dear friends have a son named Wesley who has been fighting this same cancer for nearly 4 years... He was 15 when he got it... they have witnessed to us over and over again that God is Faithful...He is Good... He is Sovereign...and He wants our best... Many people in our area have come to know Jesus as their Savior or have deepened their relationship with him due to Wesley...I bet Luke is going to have that same impact, too!! Whenever you post on FB or instagram, I remember to pray for you... He is a Good, Good Father!!

  7. I cannot imagine what all you have gone through! I am so sorry that you have to go through that and especially your sweet little boy. God will bring you all through it, without a doubt. “Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

  8. I'm so sorry to hear that your family is dealing with this awful disease! He really is such a cutie :) I highly, highly recommend watching a documentary series called The Truth About Cancer. It has interviews from some of the top cancer clinics/doctors and cutting edge and highly effective treatment protocols. Blessings to you and your family! https://thetruthaboutcancer.com/

  9. I am so glad you came through this with God's care. Loving on you from here!!!!!


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