Disclaimer: This post isn't bashing people who have chosen to dress differently than I do, I'm just sharing my journey to modesty. I truly believe modesty starts in the heart. Every one has different opinions on this subject, but since someone asked me, I'm sharing my personal journey. :)
I received an e-mail this week that I thought was very thought-provoking. I have been thinking about an answer for a couple of days and decided to answer it publicly. So, anyone that was wondering the same question can have the answer as well! :)
Here's the email:
Dear Lauren,
Just wanted to say what an encouragement your blog has been to me! I stumbled across it on Pinterest while looking for some new outfit ideas ( I feel like I’m in a perpetual “jean skirt rut”). Your blog is the only one that I follow that I ever take the time to read, and I always am encouraged by your modest style. :)
I think it is great that you are a first generation Christian and have standards; I am only a second generation Christian and so was raised wearing skirts and dresses. I have been thinking and would like to ask you, what drives you to be modest? Rarely does a newly Christian woman decide to submit herself in the way she dresses, I find that most skirt-wearing (for lack of a better term) Christians have been raised that way. Being that way myself, sometimes its difficult to stay focused on the real goal, and I find that it is hard to know where I draw the line. I am 23, been married for 2.5 years, and have two daughters, ages almost 18 months and 2 months. :) I want to be an example to the girls in my church of a happily modest (not frumpy) woman, but I really feel that I need to develop my own standards and know why I am doing what I am doing in order to present a real example of someone who is dressing for Christ because she wants to. I'd appreciate any insight you may have.
I thought the question what drives you to be modest was such a great question. I would love to give you a real, from the heart answer to this question.
Many of you have read my testimony on my post that tells why I wear skirts. That post was written for the people who didn't understand why I wore skirts and were truly curious to why I wore them.
But, I feel like this question deserves a different post, because this is coming from a lady who already said she wears skirts, but wants to know what drives me and what keeps me focused to stay modest in this very immodest world.
So to my fellow skirt-wearers (and sweet lady who e-mailed me this question),
I have noticed MOST ladies who only wear skirts were raised with that standard and either just kept it to "fit in" with the Christian crowd, or they truly made a decision to continue wearing skirts when they became an adult. As many of you know, and the e-mail above stated, I did NOT grow up only wearing skirts. I actually grew up the complete opposite. I wore skin-tight pants, super short shorts, mini-skirts, showed my mid-driff, etc. When I was 15, I made a decision to stop dressing immodestly. I found the only thing I could wear that covered my body modestly, yet was still trendy was skirts and dresses. There are a couple of reasons I chose and still choose to only wear skirts/dresses:
1.
I believe showing my thighs is nakedness. I heard someone teach on modesty and they used a verse in Exodus (28:42),
"And thou shalt make them linen breeches to cover their nakedness; from the loins even unto the thighs they shall reach:" So, from that verse, I personally think showing your thighs would be showing your nakedness. Common sense also tells us our private parts and chest would be considered nakedness as well. So, from those two definitions of nakedness, I chose to cover from my chest to my knees. I believe that's where the knee length standard came from.
2.
I believe skirts & dresses are the most feminine clothing option. When you go to the bathroom, what is the picture they use for ladies?
The world-wide picture for the woman's restroom is a lady in a dress. Getting to dress up in a dress or skirt is something we should love to do! It was created for ladies ONLY! I believe we have such a problem with homosexuality in the world, because children are confused with their identity. Ladies are ladies, men are men. Femininity is a dying trait, and that makes me sad! There is nothing more beautiful than a lady who is confident in who God made her and she embraces her femininity.
3.
I haven't found any pants that are both modest & in style. The jeans that are in style right now are tight. I think all jeans that are considered "cute" are very fitted and cup your backside, which goes back to the above standard, they are not modest. I just don't think they are the best option for modesty or femininity. :)
People always want to say, well there ARE pants that are modest...but then I ask, are they in style though or are they feminine? Why be out of style and modest, when you can be in style and modest! :)
4.
I believe it sets me apart. I don't know about you, but when I see a lady wearing a skirt, I think, I wonder where she goes to church. Now, obviously not every one who wears a skirt, is a Christian, but why not wear something that is associated with being a Christian. I want people to know I'm a Christian before I even open my mouth! I have had so many elderly people thank me for being modest. We are a
"... a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light;" (1 Peter 2:9)
Now, on the flip side there are many people who grew up only wearing skirts and when they got out from under the "rules" they went to the tightest pants they could find. My husband and I were talking about why ladies do this. (I have to ask him, because I honestly don't understand why people choose the world over God. I left the world to go to God...and he grew up in the ministry with VERY strict rules, so he understands them better.) He says he thinks they want to wear pants because they just want to fit in. Because people that grow up in the ministry are sheltered from all the "normal" things.
If ladies are choosing their dress standards to "fit in" with the world...that's not a very good reason to do something! It's also "normal" to the world to sleep around, drink, smoke, do drugs, etc. We as Christians are supposed to be different. The Bible says "Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate..." (2 Corinthians 6:17a) If we acted, dressed, and talked just like the world, why would the unsaved want to be Christians?
Remember to keep the main thing the main thing! Our ultimate goal on Earth is to win the lost! Christianity is not just a big list of don't do this, don't do that, it's also a big list of DOs! (The Bible) I have a HUGE burden for the next generation. Many of the kids I teach are NOT choosing to live for God, and I pray that we as ladies can be a great example of a Christian lady to them!
I hope that answered your question! :)
Now here's some of my outfits from this past week! :)
A Graphic Sweater Makes Everything better
Sweater: JCPenney || Skirt: Old Navy || Chambray: Marshalls || Shoes: Payless
Lot's of Layering Love
Shirt: TJmaxx || Gingham Shirt: Bass || Skirt: Ann Taylor || Necklace: Rue 21
Stripes & Leopard
Skirt: Ann Taylor || Shirt: TJMaxx || Scarf: Charlotte Russe || Boots: Shoe Carnival
Designer Inspired
Vest: Carsons || Shirt: TJMaxx || Skirt: Kosher Casual
Cobalt & Fuchsia
Shirt: Ann Taylor || Cardigan: TJMaxx || Skirt: JCrew || Necklace: Charlotte Russe
Have a Merry Christmas!! God Bless
